Authentic Southern collard greens

Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to unload on you a secret family recipe for collard greens.

As some of you may have guessed, my familial roots lie south of the Mason-Dixon, mostly in central and southern Virginia. I’ve previously shared an equally prized recipe for pulled pork barbecue; this recipe rivals that one for decadence and deliciousness.

It’s also very stereotypically Southern, bacon and all.

I hope you enjoy it and eat it in good health, whatever “good health” means when you put bacon in your vegetables. Hooray!

This is excellent when served with a perfectly juicy whole roasted chicken and 5-minute gravy, if I do say so myself.


serves three or four

Two strips of bacon
Half a red onion
A quarter cup of brown sugar
2-3 Tbsp. unfiltered apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup water
A bag of cut and washed collard greens

Put a nonstick pot over a medium-high burner. Cut your bacon into small bits, and drop ‘em into the pot.

While the bacon is cooking, chop the onion — not too fine, you don’t need to mince it.

Toss the onion in with the bacon, and let it get all good and caramelized.

When the onion is soft and starting to brown, drop in your apple cider and your brown sugar. Stir it up quickly, then dump in the greens and the water and throw a lid on it. The greens will take up a lot of space, but don’t you worry; they’ll cook down in a few minutes.

Stir occasionally, making sure to lift the bacon and onions and sauce from the bottom of the pan and to evenly rotate the greens so they all get cooked.

After 15 minutes of cooking with the lid on and occasionally stirring, your greens should be close to done. Test ‘em to make sure they’re as firm or as soft as you like, then go ahead and serve them. Nothing could be simpler.

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